Why am I struggling with breathing and why does my arousal spike quite fast making me get to the point of no return (PONR) quickly.

This is a very common challenge when starting new breathing techniques, especially in programs like "Mastering Your Arousal" that likely use controlled breathing to manage physiological responses. It sounds like you're correctly identifying that your breathing struggles are directly impacting your sensitivity and leading to the "Point of No Return" (PONR) much faster.

Let's break down why this might be happening and what you can do:

Why You're Struggling with 4-Second Inhale / 6-Second Exhale and Getting Prone to PONR:

1. Increased Physiological Arousal: When you're attempting to delay ejaculation, your body's natural tendency is to become more aroused. If your breathing isn't effectively countering this, that arousal can build rapidly.
2. Lack of Oxygen/Holding Breath (Hypoxia/Hypercapnia):
   • Holding your breath: This is a major culprit. When you hold your breath, you're not getting enough oxygen in, and you're building up carbon dioxide. This triggers the body's "fight or flight" response, which includes increasing heart rate, blood pressure, and overall physiological arousal – exactly what you're trying to reduce to avoid PONR.
   • Shallow/Rapid breathing (2-3 sec inhale): This also leads to less oxygen intake and can keep your nervous system in a heightened state.
3. Sympathetic Nervous System Activation: Holding your breath and struggling with controlled breathing patterns signals to your body that you're under stress. This activates your sympathetic nervous system (the "accelerator"), which is responsible for the arousal and ejaculation response. The goal of the 4/6 breathing is to activate the parasympathetic nervous system (the "brake").
4. Mental Focus Shift: Instead of focusing on relaxation and control, your mind becomes preoccupied with the difficulty of breathing, adding mental stress and diverting attention from the sensations you're trying to manage.
5. New Muscle Memory: Controlled breathing (especially specific ratios) uses different muscles and patterns than your usual unconscious breathing. It takes practice to build the muscle memory and coordination.

Anyone else experiencing this?

YES, absolutely. This is one of the most frequently reported difficulties for individuals learning controlled breathing for arousal management or performance. Many people find the 4-second inhale / 6-second exhale challenging initially, especially during intense moments. It feels counter-intuitive when your body is telling you to breathe faster or hold your breath.

What You Can Do (Practical Steps):

1. Prioritize the Exhale: The longer exhale (6 seconds) is crucial for activating the parasympathetic nervous system (the "rest and digest" system) which helps to calm your body and reduce arousal. Even if your inhale is shorter, really focus on making the exhale full and complete. Try to "empty" your lungs.
2. Slow Down, Even if it Means Shorter Durations (Initially):
   • If 4/6 is too hard, don't force it. Start where you are. Maybe it's 2-3 second inhale and 3-4 second exhale initially. The key is smoothness and consistency rather than hitting exact numbers if it causes strain.
   • Gradually increase. As you get more comfortable, slowly extend each phase. Maybe try 3/5 for a while, then 4/5, then 4/6.
3. Focus on Diaphragmatic (Belly) Breathing:
   • Place one hand on your chest and one on your belly. When you inhale, your belly hand should rise, and your chest hand should remain relatively still. When you exhale, your belly should fall.
   • Shallow chest breathing often accompanies stress. Deep belly breathing sends calming signals to your brain.
4. Practice Outside of Training:
   • Don't wait until you're already aroused to practice. Spend 5-10 minutes daily practicing your 4/6 breathing (or whatever ratio you're working on) while sitting, lying down, or even walking. The more automatic it becomes, the easier it will be when you need it most.
   • Use a timer or a breathing app to guide you.
5. Exhale Through the Mouth (Initially, if helpful): Sometimes, exhaling slowly through slightly pursed lips (like blowing out a candle very gently) can help you control the exhale duration and make it smoother.
6. Adjust Your Strokes/Intensity: If you're hitting PONR too quickly, you must reduce the intensity or number of strokes. The breathing is a tool to allow you to do more strokes, not to push through discomfort while struggling. If 2 strokes is your limit while breathing poorly, then do 1 stroke, regain control with breathing, then another 1 stroke.
7. Take a Break When Needed: If you feel the sensitivity spiking, completely stop, remove stimulation, and focus only on your breathing until you've brought your arousal level down significantly. Don't try to "power through" with poor breathing.
8. Hydration and Energy: Ensure you're well-hydrated and not fatigued. These factors can influence your body's stress response and ability to control physiological functions.

In summary: Your experience is normal. The breathing technique is a skill that requires practice and patience. Don't get discouraged. Focus on making the breath smooth, prioritize the exhale, and build up the durations gradually. The more you practice, the more your body will associate that breathing pattern with relaxation and control, helping you navigate those sensitive moments more effectively.